Life is a highway...or (guitar solo's with a broken cable)

The longer i am alive, the more and more i realize some things. I know that is a vague statement. Life is full of decisions. And these decisions are huge sometimes, where should i go to school? Who should i propose to? Which diamond watch should i buy? You know the important stuff. But sometimes it's so easy to get so caught up in these decisions. And in the process get more caught up in the process of making the "right" choice or more importantly not making the "wrong" choice that we skip the whole beautiful process.

We pray to God and ask, "God which school should i go to?" And we get so caught up in the decisions that the only time we really talk to God is when these decisions present themselves. And we find ourselves saying things like "oh you know i just wish God would send me a text message telling me what to do," or this, and you know you've used this one before "if God would just make it clear to me, then i would definitely do it".

But as i progress through life, (or digress), things become more clear. And as i live I am convinced that we have the process wrong. I believe the destination is not as important as the journey to get there. So many times we get caught up in these decisions we forget to just enjoy the Lord. I believe the closer we know God, and the closer we are to him, the easier and clearer these decisions become.

So if we get the process down, if we get the journey down, then the destination likely follows. Obviously, you can't have a destination without a journey. And it's along this journey that we discover God, who he is, what he likes and what he doesn't, what he loves and what he despises. I say all that to say, I hope you are not focusing more on the destinations (the choices) than the journey (walking with God).

On a completely unrelated note, (i can do that, i write these)

"Easy does it now, just keep your mouth shut, She thinks your hot already, don't go and press your luck, no news is good news coming, you got to wait to find, don't go and blow it you do every single time" -JM

The weight of the world in the palm of my hand

How big is God? Better question how big is this life? How big are the problems that come up?

I was working on a set list, and i had been praying and asking God to direct my worship and let me in to what he wants to hear. What songs would please you the most, and two songs came up. God of wonders and God of this city.

Both incredible worship songs and both songs that bring you into the presence of a Holy God. But in the context of these two songs couldn't be two more different settings. One sings of a God who is huge and holds the constellations in his hands (read Jeremiah). The other sings of a God who cares about a people, a detail, a brush stroke in the grand painting, a single city, this city, (Wherever that is for you) For me it tends to be a lot of different cities. (of course the truth being every city...duh i know right?)

But the point is this. God is both. God is both a huge God who holds the world in his hands while we try to carry it on our back, and also a God who loves you, you a single person! Don't get me wrong, i know and understand it's impossible to fathom such a thing, but that is what God really is. Unfathomable. Ah, it's a beautiful day, sun is shining, i hope you are happy. I really do. Here's some scripture.

From

The Message

2 Corinthians Chapter 5

^6-8That's why we live with such good cheer. You won't see us drooping our heads or dragging our feet! Cramped conditions here don't get us down. They only remind us of the spacious living conditions ahead. It's what we trust in but don't yet see that keeps us going. Do you suppose a few ruts in the road or rocks in the path are going to stop us? When the time comes, we'll be plenty ready to exchange exile for homecoming.

^9-10But neither exile nor homecoming is the main thing. Cheerfully pleasing God is the main thing, and that's what we aim to do, regardless of our conditions. Sooner or later we'll all have to face God, regardless of our conditions. We will appear before Christ and take what's coming to us as a result of our actions, either good or bad.

Connection.

The pro's and con's of connection...

Connection is a wonderful thing. The beauty of being connected with someone, with something, at the core of our existence the need to be connected is found. Having someone or something to share with in joy, in triumphs, in the good news. To be able to celebrate with another person or an organization. This is truly a marvelous thing. However, as it is with life...there is symmetry.

Connection has it's downside as well. And this downside isn't really a downside at all...depending on your point of view (glass half full kind of thing).

To have someone to share with the pains, and defeats of life, the overwhelming feeling of bad. It's nice to know that you will never be alone, even if you feel alone, you still have connection. God is always there ready to catch the fallen. And i don't know how God does it.

It just sucks to be the catcher sometimes, not in a "wow i don't care enough to be here kind of way", but in a "My God, My God this is killing me to witness" kind of way." And sometimes those of us who just have to sit on the side and hold the other person up, it's so hard. All i want to do God is bust in, take charge, deal justice, right what has been wronged to the person we love. But it's sooo hard to just sit here and say "I know baby, I'm sorry, everythings going to be allright"

Don't get me wrong, i know that everything is going to be allright, but it doesn't make the here and now any easier to bear...well...i guess it does. I mean without the hope that God you are going to take care of everything, and that you know what you're doing...what else do i have? Nothing. So really...the only thing i have, we have, in this connection is the hope...that true right now things suck...however...God you know what you are doing and you know what's best.


I wish you would come back for us. My soul is impatiently restless.

Princesses, Dragons, and armor that doesn't shine...oh my.

So trying to blog more. Not that anyone reads these or even is aware they exist. (Which is fine) This process is probably more for me than anyone who does stumble upon them. I was talking to an old friend last night and began to rediscover how crappy guys are sometimes. So i would like to apologize to every girl on behalf of every guy. This is behalf of every scumbag you ever dated, (clears throat)

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry i didn't call you back, I'm sorry i took you to a nice dinner then broke up with you, I'm sorry i talked to that other girl, I'm sorry i didn't text you back, I'm sorry that's all i could think about, I'm sorry I didn't put you first, I'm sorry i looked at that other girl, I'm sorry I didn't listen, I'm sorry i didn't send you a text message every morning telling you just how special and beautiful you really are, I'm sorry for not reminding you that everythings going to be OK, "

Let me start now, maybe fresh,

You are beautiful, you are special and perfect just the way you are, don't ever change, be you and the real you, wake up every morning believing that you walk on the world and not the other way around, carry your confidence on your shoulders and throw away the stupid self esteem issues, understand one thing, God is always there, and though you may get lonely and see all your friends getting married and in relationships, know that God knows what's best, and be patient and wait on him to bring you the prince you deserve. Don't settle for any other guy who will break your heart and treat you like anything less than what you deserve.

Keep the faith, Wait on God, and just dance while you wait.
Much Love.

XOXO TM

A song that took 6 years to write.

Life's crazy. This is just a snippet from a song I've written, it's hard to explain. This is the song about my ex girlfriend. It's been 6years since it ended, and taken six years to write. In no way am i still hung up on her or anything, no I'm in love but not with this girl, but as a songwriter you draw on past experiences, and this experience has had a lot of potential to make for a good song. I was young, (still am) but it felt the only way the experience would be justified is if it had a purpose. A song to come out of it. Truth be told, i haven't copyrighted this song. If you want it's yours, take it and call it your own, the truth is i don't want anything to do with these lyrics anymore. (Think about releasing a dove) I'm only putting some of the lyrics up to give you an idea, a corner of the whole puzzle. I don't think it's right to show the whole thing. Don't get me wrong, I don't hold anything against this girl. I haven't seen or spoken to her in years, I hope she's doing fine. If this ever gets back to her; and i hope it doesn't, you've got a song about you, while it's not a love song it's still a song and most girls don't get that. I hope you're doing well.
Without further adieu,

"When you walk down the street does the wind cry my name?
When you wonder aloud does it cause you to blame
yourself, cause it's all your fault

That I will not be there, for you.
That I will not be there, when you need me to
When you cry in your bed, at night, all alone
I will not be there, I will not be there"

Alittle something for all the guitarist out there.

I am starting work on my stratocaster very soon. I'm going to code name the project, WeaponXLI. Basically this is the foundation of what i want to do.

I've started on the pickguard but i'm taking the initiative and finishing the work on the body, i'm also going to put in some live lance sanser pickups in it as well. I want to keep you guys updated on it's progress. (Or should i say...the progress of WeaponXLI) I've always been in love with this guitar, something about the color's and the imagery and that combined with the nastalgia of it all, is just something bigger than i am. I understand the mastery behind the situation, it's like trying to hit a home run with the same bat that Ken Griffey used, it's not the bat (or guitar) that makes something or somebody great, it's the hitter, or the musician behind the guitar.


Still there's something really cool about holding an idea in my hands that has been in the hands of a few amazing guitarist. I know that this won't make me a better guitarist, but the idea makes me want to be.

The other side of the creating process.

First off, God is amazing. It's all because of Jesus I'm alive.

So I played the first acoustic set last night. It went awesome, there's just something so raw about the acoustic set. Very griddy, no flashes or lights or fog to hide behind, just me and my guitar. No bang to distract the audience from how you just couldn't reach far enough to hit that last note. And as scary as that sounds, there's just something so much more liberating when it goes well. Like i said, that was the first set. I have two more to go. This Wednesday, which is going to be a real raw worship set, and then of course Remastered Weekend this Saturday Night. I can't wait. Hopefully they all go as well as last night went. As always, Thanks for checking in and thanks for listening and not ever giving up on me. Thankyouthankyouthankyou. Remember, all this is your fault for believing in me and i am YOUR biggest fan. I love you all.


TM